Alcohol

In my mind, there was nothing stronger than me. However, that strength became my weakness; and what gave that weakness such strength was the combination of selfishness, denial, self-pity, and stupidity.This is a suicidal combination that many have fallen victim.For most people, attempting suicide occurs over an event or when some ongoing situation in their life becomes uncontrollable. But if that person were to be asked if he or she could stop the source of what would be an irreversible act, would they? One can safely assume that their answer would be yes; after all, anyone "in their right mind" wants to live. But for a person to choose death over life, for some selfish reason, can only be defined as a person "not in their right mind."I had to make a choice in my life, which was to either continue my lifestyle of marijuana and alcoholism, "till death do we part," or quit; walk away and live free and alive. I made that choice time after time, and like the saying goes, "If you do the same thing, you'll get the same results."In my life, the love for alcohol and marijuana was as strong as the love a mother has for her child, and I was willing to die before I quit.This is my story about my choices and all the craziness that went on in between that lead to my ultimate decision.

-- Mark Holmes