Stupor Heroes

Have you ever wondered what type of man could wield a sword from the medieval times? The estimated weight of Excalibur, AKA, the legendary sword, pulled from the stone was about ten pounds. That sounds light, right? The next time your chiropractor needs a room addition to his house, then you should swing a ten-pound weight around for a week straight. Our young super heroes self-proclaimed "the CAC" have been transformed into massive males with the statures reminiscent of warriors from medieval times. Being blessed with the strength to wield a ten-pound sword was just the beginning of our young heroes' powers. Excalibur endowed each of the CAC with a multitude of strange powers. At least that is the claim to fame of these three childish nerds. Maybe this was all just a well-rehearsed case of childhood imagination. I suppose we will have to decide for ourselves. These three teenagers believe themselves to be blessed with superhero-type powers. Powers bestowed upon these imaginative young men by the one and only sword: "Excalibur". Excalibur passed down from King Arthur to the brave knight Lancelot. After generations of inheritances, the priceless Excalibur somehow ended up buried in a tomb in "small-town" Utah. Be forewarned. This account of the adventures of the CAC is written in the form of a screenplay, easily adaptable to a blockbuster movie. So if you would like to make more sense of these accounts, and you happen to have an uncle that is a "Big-Time" movie producer, well then...I'm not suggesting that I would be willing to sell out to any old production studio for fame and fortune. I do have high standards. I would want to be paid a ton of money, cash, greenbacks, or cheddar. Anyways, you get the point. Or maybe lots of cannoli. I do love cannoli. After all, what's more American than movies, cheddar, and cannoli? Cheddar is cash for those that didn't keep up. Although you can't beat a good grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup. O.K. Back to the point. After reading this screenplay, I implore you to call for the big screen version of Stupor Heroes. My wallet will thank you. Oh not with monetary compensation; however, you will probably be invited to the premier. There will be a free all you can eat cannoli bar where you may enjoy cannoli from all over the world. For a small donation of course. All of my friends will be in attendance. You will be privileged to meet them both and my mother. Actually that still only makes two. Oh well, more cannoli for me. Either way the blockbuster movie Stupor Heroes is coming to a theater near you. Also this may help. Brent is one of the main characters as well as the narrator. His additional role as narrator made it confusing, it will make sense in the movie. Whatever, you will figure it out. If not, there will be no refunds. Maybe my Mom will make you dinner. Her stew is legendary. Not really, but it is medieval in your gut. Get it? Don't tell her I said that. Let's edit that last line, ok? Sincerely, Miss Garner

-- Miss Garner