The Misunderstood Girl

Have you ever wanted true love but continuously kept searching for it in the wrong places? Have you ever thought your family upbringing and ways of living were love and believed it was the right way of life? Have you ever sought love from men because you didn't receive it from your father correctly, who was in the home? Was accepting that manipulation, fear, and abuses of physical, emotional, verbal, and psychological pains supposed to be part of the plan? Have you struggled with severe depression and anxiety, leading to suicidal thoughts and attempts, because love wasn't going as you had hoped it would be?Well, this is my memoir, my story, and my survival, detailing those detrimental challenges I have faced from family, friends, and especially men all because of wanting true love, to be loved, and to be accepted by others. To be raped, angered, heartbroken countlessly, and ultimately misunderstood is something I knew all too well in order to gain the love from others. Sacrificing myself toward men and woman was an area that I had become familiar with more than anything, not realizing later in life that all I ever needed was to turn my sole focus on God, who is love and has been with me all along, but I refused to notice him with an open heart.So get ready to hear my life's journey and understand why I considered myself to be the misunderstood girl, living in continuous darkness that I believed was beautiful through my eyes!

-- Melanie Spearman